Rosy Red
by Rainy-Jayne
Summary: Ellie is at a loss in her life. She longs for a friend and someone who understands. When one finally arrives, her life is changed in an unexpected way. For better, or for worse? Will be subplots (PG-13 for cutting, suicide, abuse etc...)
1. Forgotten

Notice: I don't own and of the Degrassi characters...blah blah blah.. Warning: This story contains triggering materials. The cutting scenes may be quite graphic, and suicidal tendancies will be displayed. There will also be moments of abuse throughout the story. If you are uncomfortable with any of these, you may want to reconsider reading this story.  
  
Ellie walked down the empty halls of Degrassi High. With one hand brushing lightly against all the tightly shut lockers, she starred directly in front of her. She imagined a filled hallway, kids passing, teachers rushing to get a quick refill of hot coffee before the next class started. A tear slipped from her usually unemotional eyes, and rolled down her cheek. Everything was so fast paced here, nobody really ever noticed her. She was ever-existent in the background picture, but she never really mattered to somebody. She had been seeing Marco less and less as he became closer with Dylan. And she really was happy for him, it just hurt her that she was so easily forgotten. Nobody really bothered to look past her image. It was all a mindless game of popularity for some.  
  
She stopped at her locker and toyed with the lock until it opened. Pictures greeted her of Marco and Ash and her father. He was over, fighting in the war. Ash, well...Ash was becoming better friends with Paige again. Needless to say, that left little room for Ellie. For a moment, she stood frozen, just starring at the pictures. Everything good in her life had some how escaped her. A man's voice broke her from her trance. "Isn't it a little late for you to be here?" Ellie turned, startled, only to find the nightshift janitor. She let out a sigh. "Sorry, I'm just grabbing a book that I forgot. I'll be out in a minute." The old man nodded, and went on his way. Quickly, she grabbed her book and started back down the long hallway and out the front doors.  
  
On her way home, she decided to cut through the park. Ellie knew it would add about twenty minutes on her way home, but she had no desire to be home with her drunken mother. She looked at the sun slowly fading below the horizon and sighed. "Why can't things just be easy?" she wondered to herself. Tears formed in her eyes again as she continued to think and wish. She knew her mother would probably be raging when she arrived home. Lately, she had been over-controlling of Ellie. The alcohol had really gotten to her and affected the way that she treated her daughter. But somehow, Ellie felt deserving when her mother would hit her. She would look back on the bruises, and feel that she had earned each and every one of them.  
  
A sudden jolt of force brought her back. The next thing she knew, she was on the ground, someone else, and a bike beside her. "Ellie? Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I didn't even see you there! Are you okay?" Asked an urgent voice of a male. She winced in pain and looked up seeing Craig. It took her a minute to realize that he had run into her with his bike. "Here, let me help you up..." He offered, grabbing her arm. Ellie's eyes grew wide and she let out a yelp of pain. This caused Craig to become startled and drop her arm. "Oh my God, I am so sorry. Did I really hurt you that bad? Here, let me take a look." He started to move her sleeve up her arm when a frightened Ellie jumped up and backed away.  
  
"I'm fine...I'm fine. Really, it's okay. I'm fine." She was shaking now, and she quickly began to gather the contents that had spilled from her book bag. Craig helped and soon she had it all back in.  
  
"Are you sure you're alright? I didn't grab your arm that hard...are you sure you didn't hurt it when you fell?" Ellie was growing flustered with all of his questions.  
  
"Really, I'm okay." They both stood there uncomfortably. Ellie and Craig hadn't spoken to each other in ages. "So..yeah..bye..."  
  
"I'm really sorry again..." He said as she walked away briskly. Had he seen tears in her eyes? Ellie was not the type to cry. Craig shook it off, convincing himself that it was nothing and went on his way.  
  
When she got out of his site, Ellie put her things down, sat on a bench, and rolled up her sleeve on the arm where Craig had grabbed her. Her eyes met three familiar cuts. She had done them earlier that week. They were starting to bruise around the edges, explaining the amount of pain she had felt when Craig grabbed them. She sighed and rolled her sleeve back down and whispered to herself, "If only you knew...I'm not okay..."  
  
Sorry, I'm really bad at openings. I promise it will get better in the next few chapters. Please tell me what you think though! 


	2. Salvation

Ellie walked through the door of her house and was greeted by the smell of stale whiskey. She was sadly starting to get used to it. Within seconds, her drunken mother appeared in front of her. Hair uncombed, unshowered, and with dark bags that decorated the space under her eyes, Ellie's mother began yelling at her. "Do you realize what time it is!? This is a school night young lady! I've been worried sick about where you've been all this time, and you don't even bother to tell me! You ungrateful little bitch!" Smack. Ellie felt the familiar sting across her face and winced. She felt a few more blows to her body, but by that time she wasn't even there anymore. Mentally, she was blocking it all out, taking herself to another place. A safe place. "Are you even listening to me!?" Screamed her mother, as she shook Ellie's frail body. But Ellie paid no attention. That only made things worse. And finally, her mother retreated, and Ellie was able to make her way upstairs to her room. She shut her door and fell against it, tears falling steadily down her face.  
  
Everything was so ruined around her. Nothing made sense anymore. Though she felt like she deserved to be treated this way by her mother, she had no idea why exactly. The fact that she was a bad child had just been cemented into her brain. She wished her father was back home, but he wouldn't be for a long time. He could be gone as long as 2 to 3 years. Ellie shuddered at the thought of living this way for so long.  
  
Salvation crept into her mind and she crawled towards her bed. Underneath it was a box. In that box were razors, cloths, and bandages. Ellie didn't even have to think about it anymore, it was automatic. She pushed back her sleeve, and pressed the cool metal against her skin. Slowly she applied force, and dragged it across her upper arm. She took a sharp breath in, then sighed in relief. In a moment, blood would form. Ellie watched it for a moment, taken by its beauty. She did this a few more times, until she had finally escaped. She sat there examining her whole arm, a colony of cuts and bruises. They existed in a world of their own. They were Ellie's secret. She nurtured her new cuts, cleaned them and bandaged them up. No longer could she concentrate on doing her homework. Fatigue took over her body and she crept up onto her bed, breathing rapidly. Within moments, she was asleep, a prisoner of her dreams.  
  
Sorry it's so short! More soon! Thanks for the reviews! 


	3. Queen

"Give it back J.T.!" Emma screamed at him the following morning. Grinning widely, J.T. swung her notebook in front of her face.  
  
"Aww come on, Em. There can't be anything that bad in here..." He leaned against he locker and started opening it. Emma's face grew red and she snatched it from him.  
  
"Grow up a little. You're such a kid still."  
  
"Yeah well...at least I'm not so uptight like you..." He shot back.  
  
Emma scoffed. "I think I've known you for too long." She gave a light laugh. J.T. smiled. They were always joking around. The two were there rather early that morning. They had come in to work on an English project and were now waiting around until people started showing up. The halls were rather empty, despite a few kids here and there. "It should turn out good," Emma offered to fill the silence. "I think the Powerpoint is excellent."  
  
J.T. nodded. "Yeah, it should be pretty good." Never before had he been looking forward to school work as much as now. Usually he got partnered with a "loser" or someone he'd rather not talk to. This time though, he got partnered with Emma. She was actually pretty easy to get along with, and was a very hardworker. He'd had to do almost nothing. That was his kind of homework.  
  
A girl passed them and they both stiffened, turning into their locker. Their glances followed her down the hallway. J.T. turned towards Emma. "She has got to be the biggest freak ever." He said.  
  
Emma bit her lip. She didn't like to be mean to people, especially since she didn't even know Ellie all that well. It's just that...Ellie was a little rough around the edges. Emma was used to people like that, seeing as she had dated Sean for quite awhile, but there was just something about Ellie Nash that didn't sit right with her or most people. It was rather unsettling. "I don't know...I guess she never did anything to us though, right?" The two stood there, trying to waste time by shuffling things in their lockers. "Do you want to go down to the cafeteria, see if anyone's there?" Emma said at last, breaking the silence.  
  
"Yeah, sure." They both shut their lockers, Emma shoving her coveted notebook under everything else, and headed down to the cafeteria.  
  
It was where a lot of kids hung out before the first bell rang. Whether they needed to finish some homework, or buy a breakfast muffin, it was a nice place to socialize. When they arrived, they found that it was semi- full and started looking for some of their friends. Emma spotted Toby and Liberty at a table by one of the windows. Liberty was of course checking over her homework from the night before, and Toby was picking at a breakfast muffin. "Hey guys," J.T. said. The two kids looked up and them and nodded their hello's. They all sat around talking for awhile.  
  
Minutes later Paige and Terri appeared behind them. "Hun," she said talking to J.T. "come on, we're over here." Emma, Toby, and Liberty rolled their eyes as J.T. got up to follow his queen. Paige had J.T. wrapped around her finger, despite the fact that she was dating Spinner. J.T. literally worshipped the ground that she walked on. They walked away and Emma starred as they mad their way across the cafeteria.  
  
"She's so..."  
  
"Popular?" Toby finished for Emma.  
  
Emma glared at him, shaking her head, annoyed. "I'm going to go get ready for class, I'll see you guys later."  
  
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This would be where subplots come into play and all... By the way, sorry that I forgot to mention this, but we're assuming that the whole thing with Craig, Manny, and Ash never happened. I didn't like Craig when he did that.. :-/ Manny and Emma are still friends...for now. Thank for the reviews again! Sorry for the confusion. 


	4. Up and Down

The science lab was empty when Ellie arrived in it that morning. She was early so she just took her usual seat by the window. For awhile she just starred out at all of the kids coming and going. A heavy saddness came over her. They were all so normal and happy. Where did she go wrong? Her thoughts were interrupted by the noise of someone else walking in. It was Marco.  
  
"Hey El, there you are! I've been looking for you everywhere..." He said, taking his seat next to her.  
  
"Hey Marco," She responded.   
  
"Dylan gave me tickets to go watch his hockey game on Friday, you have to come with me." He pleaded.  
  
Ellie raised her eyebrows and starred at him. "Hockey? I don't know the first thing about hockey." A smile creeped across her face as she shook her head.  
  
"Come on..please..we haven't hung out in a long time...we're getting a lot of people to go. I really want you to come. Before we're all going to get pizza and then over to Ash's after." Marco gave her a pouty face.  
  
"Well...who's all going?" Ellie tensed at the idea of a lot of people.  
  
"Oh you know, me, Spinner, Craig, Jimmy, Paige, Ash, Hazel, and Terri. It wouldn't be any fun without you..."   
  
"Marco..I never hang out with any of them besides you and Ash. Not even so much you two anymore.." Ellie looked shyly away.  
  
He starred at her and shook his head. "Come on El...think about it at least, okay?" A few other students were now trickling into the class.  
  
"Yeah...I'll think about it." She said, to make him stop. Ellie knew that going would only result in something bad. Paige had something against her, she always had. The whole situation would be rather uncomfortable. But, the other side of her mind told her this was what she had been wanting. She'd been wanting friends, and to be included and thought about. Plus...it meant that she could get out of the house for awhile with an excuse. Anything to get away from her mother.   
  
"Ellie?" The teacher asked, bringing Ellie back to reality.   
  
"What? Yes?" Her teacher shook her head.  
  
"I asked you to read from page 452 in the book please." People around her snickered at the fact that she hadn't been paying attention. Ellie sighed, turning to the page in her book.   
  
"This is going to be a long day," She thought to herself  
  
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"Come on you guys....I really need the interview for the paper as soon as possible..." Liberty said, following Paige and Manny at lunch. "I mean you DO want it in there, right?"  
  
The two cheerleaders spun around, semi-annoyed. "Does it absolutely HAVE to be right now?" Paige asked.  
  
"Absolutely. Right now." Liberty answered, getting impatient.  
  
Paige and Manny looked to each other, rolling their eyes. "Alright, I guess..."   
  
Ashley walked into the lunch room to see that her usual table had dispersed throughout the lunchroom. Paige was with Liberty and Manny. Terri was with Jimmy and Craig, and Spinner was nowhere to be found. She noticed Ellie sitting alone at a table in the far corner of the cafeteria and made her way to her. "Ellie, hey!" She said from a few feet away. A look of surprise came on Ellie's face when Ash sat down at her table.  
  
"Not sitting with your usual crowd today?" She questioned. Ash sighed.  
  
"Come on Ellie, you make it seem like I don't talk to you at all anymore."   
  
"Well..." Ellie said, motioning towards Paige.  
  
"Look...it's just that lately...you've been pretty distant. It's like you don't want anything to do with anyone. And whenever I try asking you about it, you play it down like it's nothing."  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about Ashley," Ellie said, with edge in her voice.  
  
"There you go again. Look, it's just, I don't know how to act around you anymore. I don't know if you want to be my friend, or if you hate me. I can't really tell the difference. You're just so far away." Ellie pushed her uneaten sandwich away from her. The cafeteria was getting rather full. "Come on El, help me out here...what's so wrong? Is it your dad being away and all?"  
  
Her friend gave an exasperated sigh. "Ashley, there's nothing wrong. I promise." There was an akward silence.   
  
A younger kid came up to them just then and handed them a sheet of paper each. "Surverys for the student council. Put them in the drop-box by the office when you've completed them." And with that he moved on to his next table. They both reached for the same paper, stopped, withdrew their hands and starred. Ellie motioned for Ash to take it and she grabbed the other.  
  
"A dance in the parkway?" Ellie asked confused.  
  
"I heard about this." Ashley informed her. "Apparently they want to organize a dance on the veranda in the parkway. They're trying to organize it with the other highschool," Ashley told her referring to the school on the other side of town.  
  
"Isn't that kind of...pointless?"   
  
"You never know, it could be fun. Just vote yes. I mean, you aren't obligated to go." Ellie shrugged and checked yes. "So you're coming with us on Friday, right?"   
  
"I don't know...I mean-" Ashley cut her off.  
  
"Ellie, you're coming."   
  
"Fine, you talked me into it." Ellie grinned.  
  
Paige walked up behind them, and made room for herself at their table. "Hey Paige..." Ashley started, recognizing that this was not the best mix.  
  
"Hey hun," Paige smiled. She turned to Ellie, started to say something and then turned back to Ashley. "So we're on for Friday, right?"  
  
Ashley nodded. "Ellie's going to be joining us."  
  
Paige raised a questioning eyebrow. "Sorry, we only have 8 tickets." She smiled at Ellie. "Better luck next time hun."  
  
Ellie grew red hot, feeling stupid and hated and everything Paige wanted her to feel. "Come on Paige, Marco already said Dylan told him he could get more."  
  
She scoffed. "Whatever."  
  
"I....I..have to go.." Ellie said, fumbling over her words. She got up, threw her garbage away and headed out of the cafeteria.  
  
"Paige, lay off of her, will you?" Ashley shook her head and went off to find where Ellie had gone.  
  
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Sorry for the delay! Thanks again for the reviews. Here's a longer chapter for you...tell me what you think! 


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